How to stop judging your partner.

Accepting your beloved...

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The truth is, however unfortunately, you cannot change anyone to your liking. Your desires for them and expectations of them, more often than not, will leave people feeling judged and resentful towards you.

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When I desire my husband to do and be other than he is, I create suffering for myself. All the “if he would… then I/we could …” feels awful and keeps me in a place of not taking responsibility for my own experience and life. And, I make him feel like he is not enough/wrong/bad and generally pissed off at me.

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It’s an easy way to ruin a weekend, if that is what you are looking for, but it I don’t recommend it.

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So how can you stop this pattern of desiring your partner, or anyone you are in relationship with, to be different/better/other than what they are?

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Take a moment to deepen your breath… (Now and next time you find yourself in this situation.)

Bring your awareness to your heart and the true love that resides within it…

Imagine you can send that love down into your solar plexus, the center of personal power and will…

Feel that you can fill up your solar plexus with this love, filling up all the dim places, all the hidden bits. Feel it transmuting your personal will into the will of love, the will of your soul…

Loves only desire is to love. Your souls deepest desire is to love.

Send this love out from your solar plexus to the person you are focusing on…

Say to them (not necessarily out loud) that you release all expectations and desires for them. They are free to follow their own guidance and wisdom. That you accept them as they are… 

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Breathe with this. Allow this love to transmute your need for the other to be different and for it to transmute the resentment they have been holding towards you as a defense to your judgements.

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Keep practicing, using this technique whenever these feelings come up. 

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If you and your partner need help changing patterns and transmuting experiences that have led you discomfort and heartache in your relationship, I am working with couples in my metaphysical healing practice.

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I invite you to experience the magick that can happen when we shift and heal at the deepest Divine levels within yourself and your romantic relationship.